I grew up in Brooklyn in the 50s and 60s, so bagels were an integral part of my culinary life. When I moved upstate to attend college, culture shock took the form of an almost complete absence of decent baked goods in general, and bagels in particular. After college I moved back to Brooklyn, and for the next two decades lived in various other boroughs and suburbs, and bagels were, once again, plentiful
Today I live in what Brooklynites call upstate, but which really is central New York, and boy, have things changed! Excellent bagels are boiled and baked the old-fashioned way, right on the premises of my local supermarket. This is a wonderful thing. Not so wonderful, though, is the price, which is a non-trivial 65 cents per bagel. If you buy six at a time the price drops a bit, to 55 cents. That’s better, but not better enough. Once in a while, though, the store runs a buy six, get six for free sale, bringing the price down to just over a quarter apiece.
When that happens I buy all I can carry – well, at least a couple of dozen – , haul them home, and spend some quality time slicing and bagging them for the downstairs freezer. My goal, during this process, is to keep from drawing blood, and if I’m careful, and take my time, I generally emerge unscathed. Still, it’s a time-consuming chore, labor-intensive chore, and one which keeps me from buying more than the aforementioned couple of dozen at a time.
Now, however, I’m free to buy as many bagels as can be crammed into the freezer. Why? Because now I’ve got the wonderful Bagel Guillotine, from Larien Products. Selling for a mere 25 bucks, the Bagel Guillotine consists of a base that holds the bagel in position, and a well-shielded bladed assembly. You put the bagel in the base, position the blade carrier above it, and press down. Faster than you can say Marie Antoinette you’ve got two bagel halves. I’d encountered this device at hotel breakfast buffets, but until recently it hadn’t occurred to me that it was available for home use. I’ll bet it hasn’t occurred to you, either, but there you are. If you’re fond of bagels, but not of unnecessary bleeding, get yourself a Bagel Guillotine.